Organic apple juice

So we were at a café yesterday, grabbing a late breakfast-at-lunchtime thing, when it was time to order.

I ordered my meal, and wanted a drink as well.

“Do you have apple juice?”
“No, we only have organic apple juice,” was his reply
“Huh?!”
“You know, like, cloudy apple juice.”

This silly shit has gone on too long.  For reference as to my head space, the dictionary definition is this:

or·gan·ic [awr-gan-ik]
adjective

1. noting or pertaining to a class of chemical compounds that formerly comprised only those existing in or derived from plants or animals, but that now includes all other compounds of carbon.
2. characteristic of, pertaining to, or derived from living organisms: organic remains found in rocks.
3. of or pertaining to an organ or the organs of an animal, plant, or fungus.
4. of, pertaining to, or affecting living tissue: organic pathology.
5. Psychology . caused by neurochemical, neuroendocrinologic, structural, or other physical impairment or change: organic disorder. Compare functional ( def 5 ) .

I’m pretty sure apple juice is derived from a living apple; the giveaway is that I asked for apple juice.

No doubt what he was crapping on about was something along the lines of “no added whateverthefuck“, or perhaps that the apples were killed humanely, or maybe were free range apples.  I just wanted apple juice.

“Cloudy”?  So like, you mean, freshly squeezed, you asshat?

Here’s the kicker — the drink never came anyway.  Perhaps due to my dispassionate nature towards the organic-o-meter-ness of it, I was banned.

Take it away, DJO: