Organic apple juice

So we were at a café yesterday, grabbing a late breakfast-at-lunchtime thing, when it was time to order.

I ordered my meal, and wanted a drink as well.

“Do you have apple juice?”
“No, we only have organic apple juice,” was his reply
“Huh?!”
“You know, like, cloudy apple juice.”

This silly shit has gone on too long.  For reference as to my head space, the dictionary definition is this:

or·gan·ic [awr-gan-ik]
adjective

  1. noting or pertaining to a class of chemical compounds that formerly comprised only those existing in or derived from plants or animals, but that now includes all other compounds of carbon.
  2. characteristic of, pertaining to, or derived from living organisms: organic remains found in rocks.
  3. of or pertaining to an organ or the organs of an animal, plant, or fungus.
  4. of, pertaining to, or affecting living tissue: organic pathology.
  5. Psychology . caused by neurochemical, neuroendocrinologic, structural, or other physical impairment or change: organic disorder. Compare functional ( def 5 ) .

I’m pretty sure apple juice is derived from a living apple; the giveaway is that I asked for apple juice.

“You know, like, cloudy apple juice.”

No doubt what he was crapping on about was something along the lines of “no added whateverthefuck“, or perhaps that the apples were killed humanely, or maybe were free range apples.  I just wanted apple juice.

“Cloudy”?  So like, you mean, freshly squeezed, you asshat?

Here’s the kicker — the drink never came anyway.  Perhaps due to my dispassionate nature towards the organic-o-meter-ness of it, I was banned.

Take it away, DJO:

7 comments

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  1. A wise man once said “fucking kids these day”.

      • Jason on May 25, 2014 at 6:51 pm
      • Reply

      Them, and bearded hipsters!

      1. We need a war to sort out all these bearded hipsters. Send the off to fight Jerry and see how much they care if apple juice is cloudy or not.

        1. Do you mock me sir?!?! 🙂 Generation-bashing aside… wtf did he mean?!?

          1. Exactly! Well said, that man.

    • nemski on May 26, 2014 at 12:04 pm
    • Reply

    I had to pull out my physical Oxford dictionary as I wasn’t satisfied with the definition online.

    9 of, relating to, or grown with the use of fertilizers or pesticides deriving from animal or vegetable matter, rather than chemicals

    So I see how he could confuse cloudy with organic 😛

  2. Cloudganic!

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